7 Tips to help you raise a secure child
It’s a big challenge to raise a self-disciplined child since an early age. This may take on greater importance in a modern and complex society filled with an overload of demands, activities, and pressure.
Having self-discipline and using it effectively since early stages pave a successful road into adulthood. In our fast-paced, chaotic world, children who can exercise self-discipline at young ages appear to navigate the maze of family, school, friends, and community more successfully than those who struggle to control themselves.
A child with self-discipline has internalized a set of rules so that even when no parent or caregiver is around, the child will act a thoughtful, reflective manner. We must be alert to what is really important: a teacher of important values. Sound too difficult to achieve? It certainly is, but it worths to practice
1. Have discipline and consistency in your actions
To nurture the development of self-discipline in their children, parents have a key ingredient to contribute: discipline. Applying discipline to teach self-discipline is often a challenging task.
2. Set clear rules to your kid
Parents should keep in mind that self-discipline involves accepting the rules that govern his house and associate it with a sense of self-control. So, the rules must be fair, clear, easy to understand - according to each age group. These are basic components to create a mindset of personal control.
3. No humiliation and intimidation: discipline should not rely on anger or punishment
If we come across angry, arbitrary, harsh, and inflexible, our disciplinary practices will be compromised. Instead of self-discipline, our children may learn anger and resentment. Discipline is more effective in the context of a good relationship.
4. Create and maintain a positive relationship at home
A family must spend time together and have fun together. Can’t be only demanding and punishment. If you achieve a good quality in the relationship, the children will be more willing to cooperate when you set a rule that makes sense. You must show you care about creating a good environment. Children and teenagers are more likely to listen to adults they perceive as fair, empathic, and respectful Thant to adults who seem arbitrary, inconsistent, and angry.
5. Empathy plays an important role in parenting
Empathy is a vital skill that we must practice and pay attention to it: children have feelings, they need connection, feel loved, respected and they get tired. We must try to understand what they are feeling at that moment to have a quality connection at that moment. Empathy is known as seeing the world through the eyes of others, appreciating their feelings and thoughts, understanding their perspective.
6. Try a problem-solving approach
Ask yourself the question: What is it I can do differently with him? Involve your children in the problem solution, explain why the issue is important and ask them how they can cooperate for a better solution. Explain to your children the situation and try to ask his/her help. When they are young, parents set almost all the rules and consequences that direct their children’s lives. However, specialists defend that as their children develop cognitively and emotionally, they must transfer a great portion of responsibility and control to their children. When you focus on problem-solving approach, children are less likely to engage in power struggles, since they feel a sense of empowerment.
7. Tell Children what they are doing right
When you catch your children doing something good, such as acting cooperatively, you should tell them what you see. Say something related to their action like “It’s really nice to see you play together. Or if you see your child clean up the playroom after playing, without being told to do so, you can say: “You reminded yourself to do it - that’s great” You can also promote a feeling of ownership if you add “It’s a good choice you made”.