Generating a human being demands a lot from the woman, and my second experience was even more complex.
In addition to manage the pains of the body, when the second baby arrives there is the pain in the soul: the many times not being able to be whole for Nina, my oldest. By the way, "guilt" is a feeling that is born for the mother, along with the baby. We so badly want to make the best for the baby, but we all make mistakes and we feel so bad every time we make them.
It's true. We all fail at one point! Assuming that we are not omnipotent and we cannot be omnipresent, it is already a big step, which cost me some doses of therapy ... I confess! I was a working mom when I had my two babies, an extra dose of guilt.
I always wonder that pregnancy, even if we have support from our mother, husband and friends is a lonely moment of the mother, but I'm so grateful to have them! Without them, I would not be able to endure the constant and often inexplicable changes, the confusing feelings of great strength and also great fragility in the same day.
I believe a lot in God, I believe that nothing happens by chance and that everything has a learning and a purpose to make us better.
My first daughter came to soften me, make me more gentle and kind, make me more feminine, make me understand that I do not command anything, that my plans will not always happen.
With her, I discovered a new world that needed a more tolerant, calm and humble Milly to understand that every day is a day of learning...
And two years later… Teo arrived, my beloved son.
Since I discovered his existence, my life has been a lot of reflection. I feared how I would ever be able to love another child as much as I loved Nina. His waiting has shown me how resilient I could be and made me appreciate even more the family my husband and I have built together.
Then I had Teo and I instantly knew. The second you have that child your heart immediately grows and holds so much love for both of your children!
He made me realize that we are not sure of anything in this life and that happiness can be in everyday little moments of joy that can be just a cuddle, a smile, or a look - can take a half second - and we appreciate more the little things.
I do not know what the next years will be like to raise two kids (and pay all bills), but I know how much we can change through one another.
And I guess we moms are all living different lives but with similar goals, trying to be a little better than we were the day before. That’s the beauty of motherhood. It is a journey that never ends.
I would love to share more about this experience with other moms. That’s why I’m beginning this blog. Since we are in November, this Thanksgiving week…
I thank God for being alive, and for the opportunity to be a mother and to evolve always.
I thank my children for the opportunity to shape me for the better.
I thank my family, who in difficult times, will not let me give up.
I thank my friends, who make me sure, that everything is worth it!
Hope we can share our journeys so no mom can feel lonely.